Well, my life is like this.
A man dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one room to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are being roasted on spits by sniggering demons. The man says "No, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are having the flesh flayed from them by whip wielding demons while they hop about on hot coals.
The man says, "No thanks" Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room.
People are standing in a pool of excrement up to their waists, drinking espresso from demitasse and eating pastries.
The man says, "This looks more likely, I pick this room."
Satan smiles and a demon hands him a cup of espresso and the man wades in.
Just as he starts nibbling on his biscotti and sipping at his coffee,
Satan yells, "All right you bastards!"
Demons with whips appear at his side.
"Coffee break is over. Everybody back on their heads!"